Transitions

The transition from high school to college is probably one of the weirdest and most surreal things I have ever experienced. It all came so fast that I really didn't even realize it, until there I was, in a dorm room in Louisiana, my family on a plane back to Seattle. The first month of college comes with a whirlwind of new emotions and experiences. The newness of everything was so exciting to me that first day when I was moving into my dorm. New people to watch, new places to explore, new things to do, new, new, new. As I finished unpacking my clothes and putting the final decorations up in my room, I felt confident that this transition would be so smooth.

Then a couple days later, after being distracted by the fun festivities of the first weekend of college, that new car smell began to wear off. I remember walking back from class on the second day on the verge of tears. I looked around at all the unfamiliar faces and buildings and suddenly realized just how far away I was from home. Over 2,000 miles. Over 2,000 miles away from my high school that was starting school that day. Why wasn't I in my cheer uniform waving my pom poms at the incoming freshman? Over 2,000 miles from my overly pink room. Why wasn't I sitting in my bed picking out my outfit for tomorrow with my mom? I just remember feeling so far away from everything that I knew, so out of my comfort zone. I always thought I was the person who would be totally fine to move across the country knowing almost nobody. It finally hit me in that moment that maybe it wasn't going to be that easy.

As I bit back my tears and kept walking, I ran into one of the friends I had met a couple days before. Those first few days I tried meeting as many people as possible, but at that point the friends that I made really didn't know me. That's the thing about college. It's hard at first to feel at home because you are so used to being surrounded by people who have known you your whole life or people that just know your likes, dislikes, mannerisms, etc. I tried to plaster a smile onto my face as I sat down on a bench next to my friend Bianca. She took off her sunglasses and I could see the remains of tears in her eyes. She told me she was missing her mom, and I lost it. We both sat together crying for a couple minutes, missing our mommies.

I'll always remember that moment. That little cry session made me realize I wasn't as alone as I thought. Everyone's in the same boat. Everyone is missing home and feeling a little out of place. With any big life change, there is no perfect adjustment. It's all a process. That sense of home comes slowly but surely. Every day I'm here I feel more and more at home. I think a part of that has to do with time and its healing powers. But it also has to do with so much more. I've found a sense of home in the dining hall sweet potatoes and quinoa I have every night. A sense of home in the third floor of the library, where I best focus to do my work. A sense of home on Magazine Street, my new favorite place to shop and eat. A sense of home in all my new friends who I feel more and more comfortable with everyday. Now when I walk around campus, instead of seeing strange faces and places, I see the beautiful college I am lucky enough to call home. I see all the cool new people I have been meeting. I feel SO beyond content and grateful. I am filled with happiness here, which in the end is all we can really hope for with a huge transition like this.

Each and every day here is also a learning opportunity, inside and outside of the classroom. As college students, we are in an environment where we have to make choices every day. We have to learn how to balance fun and school work. We have to manage how much money we spend. We have to make sure we are getting enough sleep and eating well. Sometimes it can feel overwhelming having to really take care of ourselves. But its OK to not have this figured out right now. I've already made so many mistakes here. That's what college is all about. Experiencing things and figuring out what that experience really means. Is it good for us? Is it bad for us? And so on. The best we can do is learn something from everything, whether it's studying, going out and having fun, getting sick, etc.

I think more than anything we learn about other people in college too. As we are surrounded by so many different types of people, we quickly begin to figure out who we click with and who we don't. A lot of people go into college, feeling like they have to make a perfect group of friends that first week of school and find their "squad." Honestly, I think this mentality can be dangerous. Limiting yourself to one group of people prevents you from meeting so many others who might be so similar to you and could even be lifelong friends. In this first month, I already feel like I have made such deep, incredible friendships. Most of my friends are in different groups and some of them aren't even friends with each other. This is completely OK. This has allowed me to meet people who I genuinely feel connected with and who I know really care about me. Finding people you feel comfortable with is really the key to a smooth transition, and one of the keys to happiness in general.

Whatever change you are experiencing or about to experience, just remember to give it time. Nothing goes perfectly how you think it will. Let the unexpected surprise you. Enjoy the spontaneity of this new experience. And don't worry if it's not what you pictured in your mind. I promise you. You will find your people, your home, and your happiness.

xoxo SOCO <3